Friday, November 1, 2013

Autumn Days

A couple weeks ago my oldest was calling for me.  As I heard him casually call me mom, I was overcome with gratitude.  Gratitude for being the mother of not one but four little ones.  How could these tall 10 year old boy be calling me mom?  In that moment I felt complete in my role as his mother.  And I realized that I love it, every messy moment.  The crazy and the hard, the blissful and the sweet, the cuddles and the midnight cries.  It has tempered me.  I have seen myself at my worst and I have seen myself rise to the best that is in me. 

This time of year always brings with it a mindfulness for all that I have been given.  My birthday falls in the month of October.  Turning 36 has felt big, really big to me, unbelievably big.  I wouldn't say that it has been bad or hard, it has just stopped me in my tracks.  I have been asking questions and wondering how I got here.  In this contemplation, gratitude has abounded.  My life is imperfect and flawed, but it is laced with love and grace and hope and faith.  I have loved so many things that I have been faced with.  The awesome, the everyday, the hard.  My birthday, for me, has always been a celebration of this wonderful life I have been gifted.  Because of it, I love this season that much more. 

Lately we have filled our days with trips to the pumpkin patch with the scouts, throwing crunchy leaves in the air, organizing and moving furniture, starting some home projects, lots of cookie making, pumpkins décor everywhere, artwork done and shared by little hands, regular visits to the library, Star Wars obsessed boy, goal setting, painting, outdoor family walks, and so much more.  Lovely days with the people I love most.

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