My Thoughts on our Baby Girl

At London's graveside service I had written down some thoughts to share and asked Steve to read them at her service.  I wanted to share it with you today, just some of my thoughts on our sweet baby girl. It was pouring rain when we gathered at the cemetery and surrounded London's grave. Everyone huddled together under numerous umbrellas.  The flowers and casket were simple and beautiful.  We kept the service short, just my words read by Steve, a gorgeous musical number by talented friends, Steve shared his thoughts and feelings, and then Steve's dad dedicated the grave through a beautiful pray.  I was so pleased with how it all came together, such a beautiful way to celebrate our girl and put her body to rest until we see her again.  I'll share more about this day later, but today I'll share the words that I wrote.

"When I first saw London in the hospital, the beauty and the sweetness of her filled my soul. In that moment I knew it was worth it and I would do it all over again just to have that little bit of time with our baby girl. The heartache, the fear, the sleepless nights, the sacrifice, all of it was one hundred percent worth it to have her as our daughter, and for that cherished hour with our girl in this earthly life.  

Our London Ann has taught us that happiness and sorrow can be felt together in one moment, each adding to the intensity of the other. She gave us something beautiful and lovely to look forward to after this life is over. She has taught us that love is the answer, that gratitude heals, and that the gospel of Jesus Christ can guide us through anything. She has softened my heart in a million little ways. She has taught me that family is the most important thing. She's taught me that Heavenly Father loves us and will be with us through the hard times if we will just let Him. She has taught me that there are things to be grateful for in the worst of situations. She has taught me that the love and prayers of friends and family can lift you, from near or far.

We celebrate her life today with white and baby pink roses, with cakes and balloons.  We sing songs that have meaning to our family and share scriptures and quotes that remind us of the beauty and teachings that we hold dear. We dressed her in white, knowing she is pure and perfect.  We bury her close to us so we can always keep her our thoughts, as a member of our family who just isn’t with us right now.

She will forever be in my thoughts as a daily reminder of something to work towards and look forward to. We will spend our lives working to be tried and tested, perfected, to live in this imperfect world and learn all that we need to learn to be worthy to return to our Heavenly Father, something that her spirit only needed an hour on this earth to do. Every holiday, family event, birthday, and celebration she will be remembered and missed.  

Elder Bruce R. McKonkie said, “Are all little children saved automatically in the celestial kingdom?  To this question the answer is a thunderous yes, which echoes and re-echoes from one end of heaven to the other.  Jesus taught it to his disciples, Mormon said it over and over again.  Many of the prophets have spoken about it, and it is implicit in the whole plan of salvation.  If it were not so the redemption would not be infinite in its application.  And so, as we would expect, Joseph Smith’s Vision of the Celestial Kingdom contains this statement: ‘And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven.’”

I take comfort in the words of the Prophet Joseph Smith who said, “A question may be asked – ‘Will mothers have their children in eternity?”  Yes! Yes! Mothers, you shall have your children; for they shall have eternal life, for their debt is paid.  Children…must rise just as they died; we can there hail our lovely infants with the same glory—the same loveliness in the celestial glory.”

I will be eternally grateful to my Savior Jesus Christ.  I have come to know him in a new way.  Through Him, because he came to earth and lived a perfect life and chose to descend below it all, through his suffering in mortality and through his atonement, we will be able to see our baby girl again.  Her body will be made whole, she will live again. Through the restored priesthood and temple covenants, she is ours for eternity, and we will be able to raise her as our own.  We will hold her again."